apAdventures

Paul and I are volunteer tour guides at Hueco Tanks. Back in the late 90’s, restrictions were put into place to protect the delicate natural environment and rich cultural history of Hueco. Part of these restrictions include “guided only” areas of the park, which means the only way one can climb (or hike, birdwatch, etc.) in these areas, is to be taken out by a guide. The volunteer tours are limited to 10 people max and they are free (just need to pay the regular $4 entrance fee to the park). Anyone can sign up….just call the park and reserve yourself a slot.

Paul and I have guided many tours over the past couple of years. And people often ask us, ‘how is it…guiding strangers…people we’ve never climbed with before?’ ‘Are the tours usually pretty fun?’ ‘Do you ever get any real demanding a**holes that stomp their feet and throw a tantrum cause they can’t drag the entire v0-newbee tour participants to their v12 project for the entire day?’ Haha, no, no demanding a**holes….yet. However, Paul and I have guided enough tours that it’s easy to distinguish, right off the bat, if today will be a “Good Tour Day” or a “Bad Tour Day”. And this last weekend, we had both. Saturday, I guided the Good Tour. And Sunday, Paul guided the…well, not so good tour.

The Good Tour Day vs. The Bad Tour Day:

1. A Good Tour Day is when the tour starts off hiking to the first destination and the tour participants are literally on your heels…psyched to get to the boulders and get climbing ASAP….forget the beautiful scenery, forget the wildlife….we’ve got boulders to get to and projects to send…..being held back only by the guide in front of them. A Bad Tour Day is when the guide actually needs to STOP AND WAIT for his/her tour to catch up. Not once…not twice….not three times….but the WHOLE STINKIN’ DAY. Come on people! What the heck is going on back there? Did some birders accidentally sign up for a bouldering tour? This is like trying to walk a kindergarten class to the cafeteria!

2. A Good Tour Day is once we get to the boulders, the pads open up, the chalk is out, and the shoes are on. Stretching? Bah. Too impatient to stretch. This v0 warm-up will stretch me out just fine. In a matter of minutes the climbers are on the rocks and “sick dude” is being uttered at least every other move. A Bad Tour Day is once we get to the boulders, everyone stops, asks if ‘we’re here’, throws their pads down, and then sits. Just sits. And just kinda stares at the rock. And each other. Maybe this is some sort of pre-climbing meditation-type warm-up?…..just sitting…staring…not really saying a whole lot….just kinda sitting, really.

3. A Good Tour Day is when there is a decent amount of heckling going on. Fart jokes, fat butt jokes, puny forearm jokes, big kahuna jokes, small kahuna jokes, etc. All good fun all day long. A Bad Tour Day is when you think one of your tour participants is playing a funny joke on everyone when he decides to sit down, put his head on his knees and pretend to fall asleep under the crux move of this big roof problem the other 9 participants are trying. Only….he’s not joking. He’s sleeping. Really.

4. A Good Tour Day is when a tour participant sticks the crux of the climb he/she has been working and the crowd goes wild: In unison, “YEAH!!!” Or when the climber blows off the finishing jug that he/she has been so desperately lunging to grasp for the last hour and the crowd goes even wilder: “NO!” The roar is loud enough to scare away small animals and turn the heads of climbers across the mountain to see who sent what sick line. A Bad Tour Day is when a tour participant sticks the crux move and the crowd says nothing. Falls on the finishing jug and the crowd says nothing. SENDS THE PROBLEM and the crowd says nothing. Now if that’s not motivation….

5. A Good Tour Day is when the end of the day comes and we all cheers with a beer, head out for some margaritas and mexican food, invite one another over to chill at our campsites, exchange emails/phone numbers, or at the very least find out when the next tour together is going to be. A Bad Tour Day is when the end of the day comes and you mutter to yourself ‘Thank God’ (with no worries of anyone hearing you b/c they are all lagging way way waaaaay behind again anyway). You wonder to yourself if everyone was just having a bad day…not enough sleep….maybe didn’t drink enough espresso shots that morning? Does it really matter? No. Not really. This is Hueco and it’s hard to spoil our day in The Mecca. We don’t mind. Just as long as none of them sign up on our tour again. 😉

It’s hard to believe that it’s been over a month now that Grit and Manu arrived here from Germany. Time flys when you’re having fun and now their trip is coming to an end. Manu left for home last week. And Grit is on a final solo tour of more Joshua Tree and Bishop and will head home next week. I think I can speak for them both in saying that they indeed had a great visit. They climbed it all: Hueco Tanks, Joshua Tree, Bishop, Red Rock Canyon, Priest Draw, and even some local Tucson climbing at Milagrossa Canyon. Their tick lists are amazing. Paul and I were fortunate enough to be able to squeeze out some time off from work to join them climbing at a few places. And we all had great times just chillin’ here in Tucson – bouldering on the woody, drinkin’ Tecate, cooking good food, watching climbing videos, and just plain hangin’ out. Paul and I, yes, are a little bit bummed that the Grit/Manu visit is nearing its end. However, at the same time we are still psyched. Psyched because we know the fun is going to pick right up where it left off. Next spring. We have another Fontainebleau, France trip in the works….and guess which two Germans are going to be there….

Awe yeah. 🙂

Grit is back. Back in the USA. This time, she’s brought her boyfriend Manu with her. And this time, she’s here not to work or study….but to climb, climb, climb! Grit and Manu arrived from Germany last week and they’ll be here all month; chillin’ in our guest house, drinking margaritas, and roadtrippin’ to the country classics of climbing: Hueco Tanks, Joshua Tree, Bishop, Hueco again….and maybe again. 😉 So without too much persuasion, Paul and I have now put our days of trail running on hold for a bit…just a bit…just for maybe about the next 5-6 months….cause the temps are good, the itch has returned, and the HUECO SEASON IS ON, BABY, AWWWWE YEAAAAAH!

News flash: On Grit’s first day back to Hueco, Friday, October 6th, around noon, with myself, Manu and Paul as her witnesses, her project that she’s been dreaming obsessively about for 1 whole year went down, effortlessly, smooth as butter,….2nd try: LOBSTER CLAWS (v5). Yeah Grit. Nice.

Get psyched.

What do you suppose is going on here?

a) An attempt to bring waterpark fun to the desert: Instead of waterslides, you have sandslides!

or

b) The next American Gladiator event where only those with the biggest kahunas dare to take the plunge.

Four months and two weeks ago…the Hueco Tanks boulder problem, Dark Age V11, busted up my left hand ring finger and put me out of climbing. Yesterday…I got revenge against Dark Age. I SENT!!!

I’ve been telling climber friends that if you are going to get injured and you have the choice of what type of injury, choose the ruptured A4 pulley in your ring finger. Initially, when I got hurt last year in December I thought the worst. I imagined 4-6 months of zero climbing (what April ended up doing when she hurt a finger). However, after one month of zero climbing I knew that my comeback would be much sooner. After one month I started climbing in the V0-V2 range. After two months I started climbing up to V5. At three months April and I traveled to Fontainebleau which was perfect for my injured finger because of the type of climbing (slopers). After returning from Fontainebleau it was time to get back into full Hueco mode. At that point I was climbing consistently in the V8-V10 range. Two weeks ago I got back on Dark Age for the first time since December. Surprisingly…I lost nothing…and returned this weekend for the ultimate revenge!

Summary:
Now, for all of you out there currently with ruptured A4 pulleys in your ring finger who are dying to get back on your projects, don’t gain hope in reading my story just yet. The road to my recovery did not involve, in any way, me sitting on the couch drinking beer, eating pizza and watching the Steelers win the superbowl. NO. On superbowl sunday I was at Hueco guiding a backcountry tour and doing 299 push-ups (MY RECORD!) and sit-ups until I almost puked. I painfully watched my wife tick all her projects and climb stronger than ever. This fueled my motivation to do more push-ups, sit-ups, long runs, healthy dinners, lots of sleep…all the stuff for quick healing. I even laid in bed burning this relaxing fragrance stuff (LEGAL) that our friends Vince and Tammy gave to us for Christmas.

Sometimes when you get a climbing injury the easiest thing to do is walk away and go find another part-time hobby to pass the time. I recommend however, staying as close to the sport as possible. Why? Because it’s automatic motivation to stay strong in any way you can. This injury opened my eyes to the endless possibilities for building strength for climbing.

I promised a Fontainebleau trip summary and it will be up soon. When I said we had to recover from our travels, I lied. We had to go climbing again. It was nice climbing at Hueco the last couple days. The weather is still nice, in our opinion. Kind of warm but perfect in the shade. Hopefully it will stay this way for the next month at the least.

I have been the biggest climbing news junkie ever, the past few weeks. I figured I’d share some of my news sources so others can see how the sport of bouldering is getting pushed beyond the current limits, right now!

Cool Sites:
1. Ben Moon’s site
2. 8a
3. Jason Kehl’s site (Rules of Chaos is SICK!!!)
4. Hueco Rock Ranch

At Hueco, some of the best climbers in the world are currently attacking the classics and developing new lines. From my perspective it is amazing to be a part of the sport and be so close to the development of boulder problems that are pushing the limits of the existing rating scale! Fred Nicole claimed V15 on his stand-up problem Terre de Sienne next to Diaphanous Sea, V12. He then linked it from Diaphanous Sea! So, ovbiously it must be rated higher? Right? I thought I read V16 somewhere. Recently Dave Graham repeated the climb (just Terre de Sienne) and disagreed. I think he suggests V13/14 for Terre de Sienne. Unreal! It’s hard to dispute his claims since he recently did Fred’s other V15 testpiece (downgrading it too) and sent Esperanza, V14, in a day!!!

So is “From Dirt Grows The Flowers” the real V15 out there? (Dave Graham developed that one and says it’s the hardest he has done) Or when is Hueco going to get a real V15. We might see it soon when someone repeats the link from Diaphanous Sea into Terre de Sienne.

As climbers we are always looking for the perfect combination of events that make us succeed. You know, after a day of success you look back on the things you did right before like, getting a good nights sleep, eating the right meal, warming up, stretching, drinking DECAF coffee because the caffeine kind will give you “sewing machine” or “Elvis” legs, and stepping just perfectly on the trail to your boulder problem avoiding the tree root BECAUSE LAST WEEK WHEN YOU STEPPED ON THE TREE ROOT YOU DIDN’T SEND!!! Yeah, that might seem extreme but after you’ve physically mastered a climb there is always your mind that plays trick after trick, making you crazy, making the send that much more rewarding.

The combination of events that worked for April started on Friday morning. First, we decided to sleep in. We never did get a good nights sleep since the tequila drinking binge last weekend. After sleeping we ate! Cracker Barrel in Las Cruces suited our need for sending fuel. April and I combined ate 4 pieces of French toast, a stack of pancakes, a side ball of butter, loads of maple syrup, bacon, eggs, orange juice, water, and coffee with sugar and cream.

When we threw down our crashpads at Warm Up Boulder I said, “Man I’m feeling kinda lethargic from that breakfast.” (It was about 2:00PM). April said, “Yeah, me too. I can’t tell if it’s the sunscreen or the grease and butter that I feel seeping out of my pores?”

Shortly after that conversation April sent the problem, “The Butterdish,” V2! A classic line with a slippery right-hand hold. When you grab the hold a timer in your mind starts ticking. 3…starting to slip…2…better grab something quick…1…opps too late, my right hand slipped…0…I’m on the ground, crap! Oh well, looks like breakfast paid off. It’s better to fight butter with butter.

Realizing we wanted to hit up about 5 more areas and we only had a few hours to go before the park closed, we started moving quick. April made fast work of “Donkey Head,” V4, sending on her first go. We hurried up “the chains” to the 100 proof roof and set up the camera on a tripod. Good thing we got it set up and in place because it only took 2 tries today…April SENT “Mexican Chicken,” V6, 2nd go! It was RAD.

Saturday started out somewhat slow for April making minimal progress on problems like “New Religion, V7” and “Jigsaw Puzzle, V5.” But, by the end of the day she had 7 points…3 from “All the Idiots” and 4 from….MOONSHINE ROOF, V4! Yeah. I was pretty surprised she had the energy. In fact, I took out the video camera, turned it on and filmed her send (2nd go). A mega classic ticked off!

After typing out some of April’s tick list I’ve realized it’s hard to convey the magnitude of her accomplishments. Recently she’s made amazing links, progress on problems she ruled out as possible for herself. Most of her attempts ended falling on the last few moves, sooooo close but lacking the sending ingredient necessary to overcome the mental/physical barrier. After this weekend we both thought back. Hmmm, what was the sending ingredient? What did we do differently? I know…it was the 4 pieces French toast with butter smeared evenly between each slice and half a bottle of maple syrup poured evenly around the exterior of the plate at Cracker Barrel! Nah…it was hard projecting paying off and April proving she is climbing STRONG!

“So how’s the finger?”
It’s been 7 weeks since I blew out my ring finger but finally I’m starting to increase the difficulty in boulder problems that I try. I’m currently trying a bunch of V4s. I managed to do a few this weekend. I’ve ticked a lot of N. Mt. V4s so the remainder of problems are uh…unique? Here are a few of my sends from the weekend:

1. The Slash (V4): Didin’t send. Fell and bottomed-out on April’s horrible, napkin-thin crashpad (I’m buying her a new one tomorrow).
2. Pseudo Left (V4): Lowball. Kinda cool but really just one hard move getting into a slopy undercling.
3. The Pseudo-Feather (V4): Very lowball. Awesome slopers until you pull an easy roof.
4. Epilady (V1): Highball over a hole. Good to a weird top.
5. Shaved Pits (V2): This might be better than Seka’s Speciality (V2). Bad landing for a big move but awesome jugs to the top.
6. Mushroom Tea (V4): Overhanging wall with good edges. One of my favorite styles of climbing.
7. Thingfish (V4): Very crimpy. Not that great.

posted by pjv

It’s been a while since I’ve climbed with a very very *very* bad hangover. Well, today was that day. Another weekend at Hueco. Another stellar tour in the backcountry. High energy, crazy motivation, overloads of fun, and another GREAT group of new friends. Some big sends, some not-so-big sends, and some OHMYGOD-OH-SO-CLOSE sends that raised cheers loud enough to be heard in El Paso. The fun overload continued after the tour was done and carried us on over to the infamous climber’s fav restaurant, El Rancho Escondito. What do you get when you combine a psyched & frenzied crew of lightweight dirtbag climbers with pitcher after pitcher of margaritas after a long and exhausting day of “sick dude, suck it in, breathe, keep it tight, sweeeet, awe yeah, launch for it, c’mon!!, send this!!!!, YYYEEEESSSS!!! NOOOOOO!!!! Niiice”? Four straight hours of loud, obnoxious rib-splitting laughter…..and a hangover the next day that puts my college party years to shame. Work hard, play hard, celebrate hard. Livin’ the good life.

posted by arr

My road to recovery is really my road to revenge against the boulder problem Dark Age. I walked by it today, exactly 1 month since I blew my ring finger out while linking a crucial section of it. Today I only looked. I’m staying low key, listening to the D.R.E, not climbing that is… Over the las few months in 2005 I had only tried the moves and made some progress but in December I was feeling really good, linking sections and doing moves much easier than ever. Rather than setting little segments as my goal, my goal became sending the line. Now, I’ve got this unchecked box on my to-do list, a nagging feeling in the back of my mind reminding me daily of unfinished business. I guess in a way I’ve learned to feed off of this feeling: Wake up, pack two lunches, go to work. Eat the second lunch in the late afternoon so as soon as I get home I can run, do crunches, the “circus ab” routine, leg lifts, pull-ups (on jugs), push-ups, wrist curls and of course, long trail runs in the desert! When I first got injured I thought, man, I’m going to have a lot of free time to get stuff done. Instead, I’ve got plenty of time to plot my revenge against the boulder problem that spit me off when climbing at my peak.

April and I returned to Hueco this weekend. It was nice being back but still torture for me, not climbing. I took out a tour on Saturday to a variety of places on E. Mt. and E. Spur. Sunday, I did a lot of push-ups and sit-ups. ha ha. April did pretty darn good for being away from Hueco for such a long time. Saturday, she made some strong attempts at Uncut Yogi V6, El Burro V3/V10?, and Smokin’ Sausage V4. Sunday she almost sent Donkey Head V4 and made several of the moves on Winking Jesus V7. As we left Hueco I was thinking, “Wow, how is she staying so strong?” But, then I remembered that she has been doing hangboard, campusing, woodying by her lonesome, and running with me very consistently over the last month. Its been nice, we’ve kept each other well motivated.

Do you ever crave a nice juicy burger for breakfast?
Do you ever crave a All-American beef patty when going out for Mexican food?
Do you ever crave a quarter pounder with a couple donuts?

I don’t. And I don’t plan on eating here…

Deming, New Mexico.

posted by pjv